Penelope Ella Susan

Death of a Snowman

2010-03-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

A dead snowman was found in the backyard of a northern Minnesota family. Cause of death has been determined to be exposure to temperatures that the snowman could not tolerate. By the time the snowman's remains were found they had already reached extensive decomposition, with only it's hat, scarf, and arms recognizable.

"He was always out there with his big smile and wave," said one woman. "He just made me feel good every time I saw him."

It's well known that snowmen have short life spans. In this case it was a life cut even shorter. "I knew he wouldn't be with us long," said a man. "But it's not even the middle of March. It's just too soon!"

This isn't the only case we've heard about premature death in snowmen. It seems to be happening all over the state of Minnesota. And with the recent rain and continuing warm weather, it seems that there is no hope for any that have somehow managed to make it this far.

Things That Go Beep In The Night

2009-12-02T15:06:00.000-08:00

Sitting on Facebook last night getting my fill of what everyone’s been up to and enjoying my super quiet house, (All you could hear was the washer and dryer! And those are GOOD sounds!) I suddenly hear an alarm going off. I RACED down the stairs following the noise to the family room just off the side of my daughter’s bedrooms. They had had a late dance practice, needed to get up early for school, and have confirmation tonight. I need them to get their sleep!

It sounded like it was coming from near the TV…but when I got there, it sounded like it was coming from near the sofa. Then it was gone. Relieved, I headed back upstairs to peruse Facebook a bit more. Five minutes later, there it was again! This delightful dance of hide and seek lasted for at least a half an hour, and then finally quit. Was I hearing a cell phone alarm? A toy? A prank by my comical children? Was I being Punked?

Before logging off for the night I updated my Facebook Status to share my solo evening games with all of my “Friends” and then I called it a night.

I’ll bet it goes off again TONIGHT. I’ll bet I find it TONIGHT. And I know that this has happened to many, many others….because my “Friends” told me so.

Cuddle Duds

2009-11-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

It's November 3rd. It's Cuddle Dud Time in Minnesota!

Cuddle Duds are the MOST comfortable "long johns" available to us Northern Ladies. They feel soft and, well, cuddly against your skin. They don't bulk up when you try to pull your pants over them and they don't add an extra pound, as I tend to feel that traditional long underwear do. Soft, silky, Cuddle Duds. I'm wearing mine now!

I truly think Cuddle Duds should hire me to write ads for them. I could come up with new ads allllll winter long for them! I should know! I'm their biggest fan! Hee hee.

Now, some insider tips for wearing Cuddle Duds;
1. A gal can tuck her turtleneck INTO her Cuddle Duds to feel super warm.
2. A gal can pull her socks OVER her Cuddle Duds to keep them in place as she pulls up her jeans, even insulated jeans when the subzero weather hits us. (Warning: Though the Cuddle Duds promise to not add extra pounds the insulated jeans are guaranteed to add a minimum of five up to around ten. You can choose warmth or you can choose slim. Your pick.)
3. A gal can never have too many Cuddle Duds.
4. Cuddle Duds make great gifts for mothers, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, and basically any female who lives in or visits Minnesota and it's neighboring states.
5. Cuddle Duds can substitute for pajamas. They don't climb up your legs like flannel pj's.

Now go out and get thee some Cuddle Duds! Unless your winters are more fortunate than mine and you live in a state that is warmer.

Book Clubbin'

2009-08-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to belong to a book club. A real life, gathering of people who sip coffee or tea and discuss the latest book selection, preferably wearing full J Crew attire with ultra white teeth and head tossing laughter. So I can't afford full J Crew attire, I can blend! So I drink too much coffee and my teeth aren't ultra white... The point IS, that it just seems like so much durned fun! Heck, I'll even sip chocolate soy milk in the kitchen and promote it!

And THEN, la la la laaaaaaaaaaa ~ I found myself a crew of real life FUN women who want to form a book club! I was SUPER pumped and searching the clearance selection at J Crew Online. (No, not really!) I had all great intentions of purchasing my copy of The Great Gatsby, our first pick!

And THEN, summer took over, and with it a busy workload, three kids at home fighting as I work and/or asking repetitively, "Can I have a friend come over? Can I have a friend come over? Can I have a friend come over?" As well as, "Can we go to the mall? Can we go to a movie? Can we go to the park? Can we go on a bike ride? Can we go buy , Can I have a pony?" (again, not really...) And also, "I'M BORED!" There were business meetings, camping trips, birthday parties, a small vacation to The Wisconsin Dells, and once in a while, sleep.

SO ~ I still have not purchased my copy of The Great Gatsby. What's wrong with me? Two girls are done with it, one is halfway through, one couldn't get past page seven. And then there's the book club dreamer, ME, who hasn't even made an attempt! But ohhhhhh, that will change. I shall go out and buyeth my copy and I shall retire to my bedroom at a respectable hour and read that which is a classic. Soon!

Horror Flicks & Thrill Rides

2009-08-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I loved scary movies and thrill rides. Bring on Freddy Krueger and Jason in the hockey mask! I loved them! The bigger the roller coaster the better! Now that I'm an adult I avoid horror like the plague and the kiddie coaster would be enough to set my stomach off. Occasionally I can watch the end of a scary flick and then be okay with watching the whole thing...weird, I know. I found this out by subscribing to HBO and watching Shutter and The Ruins. I ended up liking both of them, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go watch Saw or even The Orphan! No thanks! I'll go see The Time Traveler's Wife and romantic comedies.

My lack of desire to sit on a ride as it clicks higher and higher into the air before a drop has disappointed my children, I do have to say. They cannot understand how I would not LOVE it as they do....or that I used to love it and then fell out of love. They think it's because I'm scared of something happening to me now that I'm a mother. That's really not it! If that was it, how good of a mother would I be allowing my children to endanger their lives? No....as the years have aged me I have grown very fearful of heights and my stomach just won't stay put when given too much of a jostle. It's a feeling that I'd rather avoid, like scary movies.

My friend did a study in college and found that there's something in our inner ear that isn't fully connected when we are young and as we grow it makes the connection between what we are seeing and how our bodies cope with it. That's not put the right way, but I was told about it years ago and I just don't fully remember how it went. However, it does make sense to me. I wish I had that free feeling of flying through the air and loving it! This has nothing to do with horror movies. I chalk that up to overexposure on my part!

Sorry kids ~ Mom will stand at the bottom of the rides and take pictures of your exuberant, smiling faces! Sorry kids ~ Mom will be known as the STRICT mom among your friens. (I've been told this by a tearful thirteen year old...) R rated movies aren't allowed yet. I allow PG-13, so I can't be all that bad, can I? My response to being told how awful I am because of my rules.... "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm your parent and it's my job." Thank you Love and Logic, for supplying my appropriate words!

In the blink of an eye...

2009-07-13T12:30:00.001-07:00

Thirteen years ago I gave birth to my first daughter. Sweet and tiny, she was the first to make me a mother. Then, I blinked. Today I am the mother of a teenager! I cannot believe how quickly time flies! I have loved each and every age, every year, and (almost) every moment. My new teenager keeps reminding me how close she is to driving, to college, to leaving our nest. She's excited about life and that's fantastic - I am excited for her! I'm also that mama bird who wants to put her wings around my girl and shelter her, protect her from the big bad world.

In two more years my second daughter will become a teenager as well. My home will be filled with the joyful laughter of two teenage girls who get along splendidly, as did my sister and I. But I need not wait for the teen years to hit dear daughter number two. They ALREADY get along that blissfully! They also enjoy the love and gentle affection of their younger brother who will turn eight next month. Yes, my house is the shelter for all of the peaceful affection passed along between my children.

This message is brought to you by summer vacation and 13 years of parenting.

Rejection #1

2009-06-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

I received my very first literary agent rejection yesterday from The Knight Agency. I did receive some very positive feedback and some excellent suggestions on what it lacked, so I'm actually quite pumped about it! I'm going to take some time now to comb over the manuscript once again and really incorporate a lot more into it. I think it will really improve things!!! And then... time to query another agent! I've been doing some research and know EXACTLY where I'm sending it next!

June is National Birthday Month. Just kidding...but it is a BIG month in my family! First comes my sister, then my husband, my daughter, my niece, my anniversary, my close friend's anniversary, my dad & step-mom's anniversary...surely I missed someone or something in there! That must mean it's a DURNED good month! Full of love and...birth! I mean life! Hee hee!

Summer's Here!

2009-06-14T19:14:00.001-07:00

Summer weather was slow to join our summer vacation this year. It finally arrived! Today was the PERFECT summer day. Heat that drove people to the lakes to enjoy God's great creation...sunshine...blue skies...no rain. My family enjoyed swimming in the lake at Grandma's house while I worked! Still, when I drove to town to do some errands I got my kicks just being in the moment and wishing that every day in Minnesota could be like today.

Yesterday morning was beautiful as well. Open skies and sunshine promised a day to enjoy outside. Because my husband has been very sick I decided it was THE time to wash all of our bedding. So the washing began and before long I had three large comforters and some towels floating on our clothesline. Just after I hung the last towel my kids called out from the trampoline, "Mom! It's raining!" Which, of course I had noticed but was trying to ignore. I told myself that a few sprinkles wouldn't matter at all, which I verbalized to them.

I went inside and continued to clean, still ignoring what was happening outside. My three children were squealing and screaming in delight as the rain POURED down on them. They love to play in the rain. My bedding does too. It stayed on the line all night long and into this afternoon. It had a double rinse directly from nature, because I like to do things as naturally as possible. (uh-huh...) and smells of sunshine and outdoors. I can't wait to crawl under them tonight!

Loving Frank

2009-06-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

Nancy Horan's first novel, "Loving Frank" reveals a scandalous affair between architect Frank Lloyd Wright and the main character, Mamah (pronounced MAY-muh) Borthwick Cheney. Never before had I heard of anything involving Frank Lloyd Wright other than his amazing architecture. Horan did a brilliant job of bringing the story Frank and Mamah to readers.

Throughout the book I struggled with Mamah. I didn't like the choices she made, and I didn't like how she dealt with the consequences. In abandoning her young children to run off to Europe with Frank she made a choice that affected the lives and well being of her family. That's just something I can't connect with. For me, my children will always come first. I just can't imagine ANYTHING ever changing that.

Nancy Horan brought the 1900's vividly to life. She gave Frank and Mamah voices and personalities that kept me reading, even though I was shaking my head the whole time. I was startled by the unexpected ending, which left me thinking about Mamah's story long after I had finished. I would definitely pick up another Nancy Horan book. For some interesting history with creativity thrown in, I'd recommend reading "Loving Frank."

Possible Signs of A.D.D.

2009-05-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

If you're making potato salad and you can't find your egg slicer, you find yourself pulling up a stool and the garbage can. Suddenly you've shifted from cooking to sorting and tossing. It may take a few moments before you realize that NOW, is not the right time to do that...then get back to making potato salad using a knife to slice your hard boiled eggs instead.

If you're cleaning up the living room and go to put the photo album back on the shelf and suddenly find yourself fifteen minutes later enjoying a walk down memory lane.

If you're packing some things for an overnight trip and end up sorting seasonal clothing.

Did I do these things? Yes, and many, many more. I'm working on staying focused on the task at hand. Fortunately, it seems that these little distractions don't enter my office. I do enjoy life, love improvements, and have a desire to learn, grow and change every day.

Friday Night

2009-05-15T15:03:00.001-07:00

I have a house FULL of children tonight. The kids are having friends over and I've just ordered Dominoes Pizzas to feed them in a very slumber party fashion. I was going to make a dish we call "Sunny Italy," which is like spaghetti in a casserole topped with cheddar cheese and pepperoni. It's a favorite of my children and they usually want that when they have sleepovers, but tonight my oldest was insistent; "DOMINOES PIZZA, MOM!!!"

The thing about slumber parties these days, is that it actually makes my life EASIER, if you can believe that. The kids go off with their own friends and I'm left alone. No sibling fights, no, "Mom I'm bored" to deal with. I just have to feed them and remind them NUMEROUS times to go to sleep. I don't mind when they want friends over. I remember when they were little, it meant planning activities. We'd bake something, we'd do a craft, play a game, go outside...I'd have to plan it out. No longer. I suggested the oldest girls play a game or something and when I mentioned Hungry Hippos... GOSH, I had meant it as a joke! Hee hee.

Ducky Humor

2009-05-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a little goodie that my dad has shared with our family over the years:

M R DUCKS

M R NOT DUCKS

O S A R -

C D E D B D FEET?

C D E D B D WINGS?

M R DUCKS.

Can you understand the gibberish that is my father's humor?

Dear Doggie

2009-05-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

As I type this at 9:20 pm, my 11 year old dog is outside my window barking at whatever's causing her alarm. We've had our English Springer since my oldest daughter was just two years old. We got it on video; this little toddler seeing her very own puppy for the first time. It was so adorable! And our second daughter was a baby at the time. She has always known this dog for as long as she can remember. We've had this dog for three years longer than we've had our son. This dog has a big place in our lives. And now...well it's hard to even say.

She's losing her hearing and her eyes are bad. She barks constantly because she's confused. She's begun to use our garage as her own personal bathroom. But the worst of it is, she's begun to bite people. Which can only mean one thing. Sad to say, we are going to have to have her put down. As my mom puts it, we've got to give her her dignity, as well. She has been a wonderful dog for us. It's not planned as to what day yet, so we still have some time with her. For now we're keeping her confined to our family and loving on her lots.

Dear Doggie,
You've been the best doggie that a family could ever hope for. We love you and will always love you. We will never forget you. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. Thank you for all of the belly laughs, the sentimental moments, the hunting trips, the night watch, the table-scrap disposing, and the comforting that you have given us.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Love,
Your Family

Book in a Nutshell

2009-05-01T11:05:00.000-07:00

Who has a grin stretching from ear to ear today? Why that's me!

Who is dancing with excitement? Why, that's me as well!

Why? Well......... because I won a fun contest! The Knight Literary Agency put out a "Book in a Nutshell" contest and received over twelve hundred entries. I was among the top twenty winners! Wa-HOOOOOOOOOOO! Because of this, the agency will review my complete manuscript! I am so excited and so honored. I didn't win representation, of course, but it's still a feather in my cap and I really hope they like it. If they really like it, maybe I could possibly earn representation!?! I plan to get it out this weekend and then do a lot of writing and a ton of praying.

2009-04-20T11:10:00.001-07:00

After agreeing to register for a 5K with a few friends, I grew very nervous as the day of the race approached. Between being extremely busy with work and kids, I had made little time for training. The week of the event I had to calm myself by conceding that it would be just fine to both run and walk. I was there for the experience and the exercise, not to compete against anyone. I figured I would alternate between running and walking, with the running amounting to about two miles and the walking about one.

Our registration came with the tag to pin to the front of your shirt, and an ugly, orange t-shirt. We settled in line with the rest of the 1,000 plus runners and visited as we waited to start. And then suddenly, we started. I began with a light jog and kept pace with my friend. We passed the walkers as we jogged and before we knew it, we passed the one mile mark. We knew that halfway through there would be a water table and we briefly walked as I tried to drink my water between heaving breaths, then we picked up the pace once again. Throughout the whole thing, we only walked a couple of times for just a few minutes each. Remarkably, for me anyway, we finished the run at 34:03, which was 12 seconds under what ended up being the average time for that race. I was thrilled!

We celebrated by eating at Red Lobster, something that would bother my stomach for two days after, but it was worth it! I now can’t wait to wear my ugly orange t-shirt with pride, because I participated in a 5K! Not only that, I’ve lost weight and have the desire to run now. I don’t ever see myself as wanting to go any further than the 3.1 miles that make up a 5K, but now I can get on a treadmill, or go for a jog, and know that it’s not unattainable for me. I’ll go a mile here and there, or I’ll go the full 3.1. Whatever the case, I’m glad to have gotten involved and am happy to have running as a part of my workout routine.

Refusing to Stink

2009-04-12T19:49:00.000-07:00

I love to wear the color black. I guess it started with the whole black is slimming thought, but it continued because I like black with blond hair. I don't know why. And then it continued further because black goes with everything. Sooo, I love the idea of "little black dress" approved deodorant. Summer is coming and so are sleeveless black tank tops and black t-shirts. (No, I don't wear black every day, I do like to mix it up and wear COLORS. I do.) After a winter of turtlenecks and sweaters and being covered up from head to toe, it's time to think about those deodorant marks that come with the standard solid deodorant.

In the past I bought one of those rocks that you wet and rub on your underarms as a deodorant substitute. The all natural way of not smelling. I've also tried to not wear deodorant when I know I won't be working out. But sometimes it seems like I'm always working out because I have a very busy life, so that didn't last long. Yes, I'm a girl, and I'm always supposed to smell like flowers, right? I don't pass gas, I flower. My point here is that I want to be healthy and natural and don't want to apply things that are considered to be bad for you. It seems like the solid deodorant just washes off much easier.

I used up all of my deodorant so in purchasing my new stick last night, I opted for the black-friendly sort. I tried a different brand, thinking, surely there HAS to be a brand that will wash off and not stick like adhesive to your skin! But this brand does not. Scrub, scrub, rinse, rinse...still there. Repeat. Still there. One has to use a brillo pad to get it off. (No, I don't...the abrasive facial scrub seems to get most of it off, but it still feels like it's there.)

So, I shall keep the stick of glue for the days that I wear short sleeved or sleeveless black, and go buy a stick of solid for the days that I don't. Because it just doesn't seem right to me, to have your underarms sealed 100% of the time. I could be wrong and it could be no big deal whatsoever. If so, GOOD. If not...well, that's what the solid is for. And I will use my rock again, in the event that those lazy days that don't seem exist anymore happen to pop up. Cuz, hey...I'm all for that!

Impulsive Moves: Posters & Bubble Gum...a Mother Relates

2009-04-04T20:01:00.001-07:00

Somewhere we got a small Twilight poster, though who it belonged to was not quite settled. So my younger daughter decided to cut Edward and Bellas heads out. Not sure why, but to her it seemed like a good idea, I guess. Well, older sister freaked out and it was a big deal, because it wasn't her poster to cut up.

Reminds me of....an impulsive move I made as a kid that seemed like a good idea at the time, until you've done it and then you think, Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.

It was either MY pack of gum or my sisters. That, I can't remember. I do remember being in a bedroom with a WHOLE pack of gum. It was sticks of gum and they were bubble gum flavored. What a treasure! I thought it would be a good idea to unwrap each and every stick of gum and put them all in a bowl. Cuz that's convenient and lovely, like a bowl of candy sitting out. If I had a visitor, I could pick up the bowl and pleasantly ask, "Stick of gum?"

Something in my mind says it was my sisters gum. I don't know if she ever found out about it, but, I guess I owe her a pack of gum.

Edward and Bellas faces are now bookmarkers. We've gotten over the incident without lasting trauma, so we'll be all right.

April Fools!

2009-04-01T07:15:00.001-07:00

April Fools Day has been a big thing in my family for years. One of my dad's biggest characteristics is his humor, which he got from his dad. He's always got a joke and he loves to goof off. He has passed this down not only to his daughters, but his grandchildren...specifically his grandsons. My sister and I very often rib each other with, "Okay, Dad!" when one of us has done or said something that sounds like our dad.

I think it was last year that I made my dad believe my sister was pregnant with her fourth child...I'm sure he didn't really believe it but hey, I gave my April Fools effort there.

This year my giggling 7 year old son called my dad and asked him in a super fake frantic voice, "Grandpa, can you...Grandpa, we landed in the DITCH! Can you...can you come get us out?" I heard my dad's immediate reply, "Okay! I'll be right there!" And then my son said, "APRIL FOOLS!" He was laughing hysterically because he truly believed he had "gotten" his grandpa. Then I heard my dad saying, "Oh, you got me! I was going to ask where you were...." Grandpa played the game well. I'm sure he was expecting the call.

Then Grandpa turned the tables and told my son to play a trick on my 12 year old daughter, which he attempted but his smile couldn't hide the joke. When she got on the phone with her Grandpa her pre-teen remark was, "Grandpa, I'm immune to your jokes by now." Nice. She's too old to fall for all the jokes, but too young to understand when you should just go along with it to humor someone. I know my dad got a smile out of that one, though, because he just chuckles with pride at how fast his grandkids are growing up.

Our April Fools Day finds us covered in 10 inches of heavy, thick, white snow. The kids were dismissed from school early yesterday because of the weather. Everyone is sooooooooooooo sick of winter. We're sick of the cold, the snow, the bad roads, the wind, the slush, the mess, the boots, the snowpants, the overflowing hall closets that are itching for the winter stuff to be stored for a couple seasons.... HOWEVER. Every person in my household who is SO SICK of winter had to completely awe at the gorgeous picture that God painted for us this morning. The trees are gorgeous and my son called our yard "blank". It was like a blank piece of paper just waiting for him to fill it with designs. I remember feeling like that as a kid, too.

So yes, we stopped to appreciate the beauty. But it can go now. I want me some Spring.

Pre-Teen Favs

2009-03-23T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've been reading my daughter's Twilight Series books by Stephanie Meyer and enjoying them almost as much as she did. I wish that the last book didn't have to have the content that it does. I'm still enjoying it, but I'm cringing that my daughter read it. She bought the movie, of course, and we all watched it together on Saturday afternoon. My girls are in LA-LA-LA-LOOOOOOVE with Edward and the movie. I wasn't as excited about the movie as they were, but I still enjoyed it.

So they asked me; what movie did you love as much when you were our age? Hmmmm. That is a tough one! My sister can probably answer it for me. Was it Grease? Grease 2? The Freddy Krueger Movies that freaked me out all the way into my adult life? I mean, I know that I loved Michael Jackson and Prince, and had their posters on my wall....but what movie did I adore? It's gotta be right under my nose. Maybe it's buried under my "We Are The World", Cabbage Patch Kid, Purple Rain, Like a Virgin memories. I guess music was bigger back then than movies. Probably because VCRs just became accessible with a huge price tag. Oh, the fun nights when my dad would rent a VCR and the Grease movies...my sister and I would be sooo excited!

My girls are absolutely, positively HORRIFIED that I used to have Michael Jackson posters on my walls. And oh yes, I loved him so.

Now, I do have to digress; I'm so glad my daughters aren't walking around the house singing "Like a Virgin"!!!! For SO many reasons! (um, what do you mean like?) How did my mom get through that?

My Endless Love ~ For a Season

2009-03-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a busy month March has turned out to be! We've been through below zero weather and are approaching 50 degree weather. And THAT, I tell you, is SWEET. Yesterday was the first day of Spring. To describe the way I feel about that, picture this:

A large, open meadow with blooming wildflowers of different colors in abundance. Spring is smiling at me from the other side of the meadow. I am running as fast as my clumsy feet will take me. Running with open arms, which makes the running a tad awkward, wearing a joyous smile upon my tears of happiness-streaked face. "Endless Love" is our background music for all of the birds and butterflies watching us to hear. And when I finally get there, I say, "I've waited for you for so long. I've been waiting for this day. Please don't ever leave me again!" And then I pause to think...unless someone better looking comes along, such as SUMMER.

Warmth

2009-03-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

Sweet, warm weather has graced us with it's presence!!! The snow was melting like cra-zay-zay today! Now my English Springer is filthy-filth-filtherton and attempting to smear mud all over my floor with a mad dash into the house everytime someone cracks the door. At that point this lady, who cleans in circles, shouts "OUT!!! OUT! GET OUT!!!!! OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And then I shake my head in disgust at my kitchen floor. Tonight, I left it. I'm DONE for the day with that.

However~~~the weather was so gorgeous today that I wore a fleece pullover and a North Face Vest and was comfy warm! You couldn't see your breath outside and people were driving with their arms propped up on their cracked windows. It got above 40 and the people of Minnesota celebrated! I saw people outside just to be outside! Oh yeah, baby!

I gave a copy of my novel to a girlfriend to read. I'm hoping she doesn't think it's trash!!! Fingers crossed!

Query Contest

2009-02-20T14:49:00.000-08:00

Go to http://murdockediting.blogspot.com/ and scroll down to "A Little Fun" for a cool contest. It indeed was fun and allowed me to write a little tidbit about something I never imagined I would. Here's my comment:

10/2/09 12:25
Ella Susan said...
Very fun exercise!!! Never ever thought I'd write about vampires! Here goes;

Penny peeled herself out of bed after three days of what had felt like a coma. One look in the mirror told her that her hunch was true. No wonder Mr. Right had seemed more appealing than any other man alive. He wasn’t, nor was she anymore.

In Penny’s attempt to get in touch with her inner vampire she perused the historic library in town for weeks. She couldn’t handle all of the baloney websites that came up when searching the internet. Her Gucci heels clicked in such a distinct pace as she made her way through the silent library that she became known as a regular. Obviously she had to tell them that she was writing a book because they had told her no one had been so interested in the vampire books in years.

It was either a legend or a truth, but Penny stumbled upon the only words that had given her hope ever since her tall dark and handsome stranger, who she had only meant to kiss, by the way, not neck, had changed her being. There is only one source of restoration to human life in existence. The pure serum of a full blooded polar bear.

Penny strapped on her Manolo Blahnik Boots and booked a flight. Not only was she going to cure herself, she was going to put up residency. With the polar bear population winding down she knew they needed her protection. Whether she had to become a congresswoman or a wildlife activist, one thing she knew for certain; polar bears weren’t a species that the earth could afford to lose.

A Grandma Goes

2009-02-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

We've gone through another death in the family. This death is so different in every way than the one that occurred just one week prior. This is the death of a grandmother who we knew wanted to go. She didn't want to be at the nursing home where she ended up. She saw two of her loved ones in the moments before she joined them in heaven and voiced it for those in the room to hear. Her husband and her sister came for her. This is something that we can rejoice about and celebrate. I am happy for her, that she is no longer bound by a tired human shell. I'm happy that she can dance in heaven with the people she joined, before Jesus.

On The Verge Of The Teenage Years

2009-02-11T20:09:00.000-08:00

This summer my eldest will turn thirteen. A teenager, in my very own house! But I still sorta feel like a teenager myself! I said sorta, okay? In the following ways; I still like the music I liked during my teen years, yet I also like the music that my girls are listening to. I'm reading the Twilight Series as are my girls. (so good!) I still love to get jiggy with it. I still hang with my girlfriends. I still like regular Coke, even though I've trained myself to drink Diet....

I could list an infinite number of ways that I'm so NOT like a teenager, so we don't even need to go there. My point is, I see a funny look on my daughter's face when I ask her if I can read the next book in the Twilight Series. (They are her property - she bought them!) She thinks it's ridiculous that I have an iPod and even more ridiculous that I have Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, Pink, etc... on it. (It's so awesome to jog to and to clean to!!!) Every time I walk by her wearing it she looks funny.

So we're reaching the age - I'm an embarassment. The shame of having a mom!!! I remember. I was there once myself so I shall try to keep that in mind over the next, what, seven years? I don't know how long it lasts, but I do know it gets much, much worse than this. This is only the beginning. And once she's thirteen, I will have teenagers in the house for the following THIRTEEN years! Is that some sort of a sign????

I'm thinking about doing my own "punked" on my pre-teen. Things like dressing like a granny for a day, watching the Lawrence Welk Show, and telling her to "GIT" as I shoo her out of the kitchen with my broom. Then I'll vacuum the living room in my heels and pearls as I be sure that dinner's hot when dad gets home and we all look presentable.

2009-02-08T19:20:00.000-08:00

A tragic death in my family has left me a little speechless. Not too much to say about that at this point.

The hubster and I had a little time to ourselves this afternoon and we went and saw New In Town. http://newintownmovie.com It was very good. I loved it! There's a part where the main character has to relieve herself outside which will crack you right up! It is true; Minnesota Gals do know how to go outside and most of us HAVE done it. It may begin when you are in, say....high school? When you're at an outside gathering amongst a bunch of other high schoolers? And you're all drinking beverages out of plastic cups? So you have to go pee a lot? That's how it's mastered. You develop strong quads this way. One never goes alone, always in groups of two or more. You talk the whole entire time. This leads me to a true story:

We had just graduated from high school and were at a grad party for my friend. Two of us had to "go" so we left the party area and found a spot to squat. Just after we had finished and pulled up our pants a horn honked. Sure enough, it's a car full of boys, who had seen the show with our backs facing them. Which means that what had been exposed was facing them. Yep. The hinys. Flash forward two years and I married one of the guys in the car. (whom I had not yet met at that time) He was the one who had told the guy behind the horn to wait until we were finished. He's kinder now.

2009-02-03T10:29:00.001-08:00

Yessssssssssss! Today I am wearing a pair of jeans that I haven't worn since last summer! HooRAH! And they are even a little loose...so I'm doing something right! I did manage to jog both Sunday and Monday, and have completely abandoned snacking. So! Yeah Baby!

Finished chapter 6 of my current WIP! Another HooRAH because I had been a little stuck. So I scrapped the whole thing and started over and now I'm happy with it!

Firebrand never requested any more from me....which I figured, but still. It's a little bit of a bummer. I currently have that manuscript being read with a couple of dudes that I trust to show me all the areas that suck, then I shall revamp it and resubmit it. In the meantime - I'm plugging away at the next one.

I'm reading Twilight and really enjoying it! So cool that a mom can love a book that two of her daughters loved!

2009-01-30T14:47:00.001-08:00

Brand New Me Day 1:
Was yesterday. I didn't exercise and I did eat poorly. The day started out semi-okay...I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms with my son in the morning and then had half of a chicken breast for lunch. That's all I had because it was prepared already, and it was easy to grab and eat at my desk. Dinner was pizza, of which I had about 4 pieces because I was so hungry. Snacktime rolled in around 8 o'clock and we made deep fried cauliflower, which of course you have to dip in cheese sauce. I also drank two glasses of grape Kool-Aid with it. Something's telling me to CRASH AND BURN before I even get started on my new improved self. WHATEVER! Today was too crazy busy to even add anything else, so I had to skip it. The plan has been moved to Monday, where the Brand New Me plan shall re-boot.

I'm also really wishing winter to be over. I'm sick of wearing two layers every day, boots instead of shoes, wishing my heater in my car was super powered, slippery roads and bad tires, and avoiding the grocery store because who wants to push a grocery cart out to their car in subzero temperatures and a snow packed parking lot? Not this Momma! I'm looking a little like Old Mother Hubbard here...

2009-01-28T18:41:00.000-08:00

I'm considering running a 5K, which is huge because I've never been a runner. I would have under 3 months to prepare, which seems scary but should be enough time. I have so many changes that I want to make in my life and this is exactly what would boost me in the right direction. I need to eat better, sleep better, drink more water...
So here's what I vow to not do:
-I will not lose my balance on the treadmill and be shot off the back. At least not at the Y.
-I will not eat foods that cause gas before going to the Y. Especially particular brands of veggie burgers, which do this to me.
-I will not drive to the Y in my workout clothes but wearing slip-on shoes, as I have in the past.
-I will not walk past the bicycle rows when my legs are jelly from exhaustion and trip over someone's cord because I can't lift my feet, therefore erasing all of their workout info. Luckily the gal was nice to me afterwards...
-I will not worry if my workout pants are a little tight at first. They WILL get bigger. (or maybe it's the other way around? The butt gets smaller???)
-I will not get discouraged when my pre-teeny bopper daughters pass me up and become specks in the distance ahead of me.
-I will not wait all day to get my workout in without planning it, and then have it get too late.
-I will not give up this time. I will be a runner for life.

Now GOOOOOOOOOO!

2009-01-23T18:44:00.000-08:00

Submitted a humorous how-to piece just moments ago...and now moving on to:

The Name Game

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . .nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: Penelope (my pseudo name)
2. A four Letter Word: Puke, which thankfully it's been a long time since that has happened to anyone in my house! KNOCK ON WOOD! KNOCK ON WOOD! Oh yeah, we don't believe in superstitions.
3. A boy's Name: Paul, as in Bunyan.
4. A girl's Name: Pamela as in the actress from Mork & Mindy.
5. An occupation: Police, as in Po-Po, as the teenagers are referring to them.
6. A color: Peuce, which sounds awful but is quite pretty.
7. Something you wear: Pretty face, according to my middle child.
8. A food: Pot Roast which makes my home smell good and my son cry.
9. Something found in the bathroom: Paint for my face to disguise it for #7.
10. A place: Parking lot of Wal-Mart at night when it's dark and you're pushing your cart as fast as you can to your car, then you have to look under the car to be sure you won't get grabbed, get in and lock the doors as quickly as possible, and shoot out of there like a rocket!
11. A reason for being late: Pants were too tight, what could I do?
12. Something you shout: PLEASE STOP FIGHTING! (kids...doesn't usually work)
13. A movie title: Planes, Trains & Automobiles! Steve Martin, John Candy....can't go wrong.
14. Something you drink: Port wine. But I haven't, I don't think? I should research this one. Maybe later tonight.
15. A musical group: Pussycat Dolls. My daughter hates it that I actually like some of their songs. I'm supposed to be a MOM and listen to John Denver or something, I guess.
16. An animal: Parrot, which my son wants really, really bad and reminds me of a joke I once heard...
17. A street name: Pine Street, cuz it's so fun to name streets after trees!
18. A type of car: Porche, which I will one day drive.
19. A song title: Push It...push it real good! (or the other version...push it, push it-to the limit, limit..) (GREAT. Guess what I'll be singing all night now!)
20. A verb: Pluck, as in my eyebrows, which I shall now go do.

2009-01-22T17:00:00.000-08:00

Things that gave off an invisible unpleasant aroma today:

1. Bronchitis of the middle child.
2. Lack of large payments owed to us in the mailbox.
3. $45 Co-Pay at the clinic.
4. Spam faxes.
5. Telephone Solicitors and people who thought my work line was a fax line and never figured it out. Let's hope they don't try again tomorrow.
6. Forgetting that I didn't have eggs before mixing up the meatloaf and creating meat mush instead.
7. Gas prices rising again.
8. My hair. Super bad hair day because I tried a little something new. It didn't work.
9. Dead fish floating around in the fish tank. This one would maybe not be an invisible unpleasant odor...I didn't check.
10. Trying to get my food processor to work for a half hour before I figured it out.

Things that gave off an invisible pleasing aroma today:

1. Answered prayers.
2. Spending the day with my Bronchitis Kid and making her laugh.
3. Seeing my beautiful, sweet, loving sister. She is the other me.
4. Eating an egg roll from the grocery store deli and drinking a Mt. Dew with it.
5. Making my son laugh when I told him he had to really try not to kiss his sister cuz she is sick. The kid hates kisses, so it was funny.
6. Buying Mika songs on itunes.
7. Facebook.
8. Remembering to take my vitamins.
9. Getting a car wash and not having my doors freeze shut.
10. Trying to tell my daughter what I had put in my salad and instead of saying cucumbers saying coupons. "I cut up some coupons and added them to my salad..." Mmmmmmmmmmm.
11. Crossing things off my to-do list.

2009-01-21T09:02:00.000-08:00

Hello 30 degree ABOVE zero weather! It's soooo nice to see you again! We've missed you so. Ah yes, hello Fellow Minnesotans! Of course this is shorts weather! We're going through a heat wave, so definitely trade the winter coat in for a hooded sweatshirt! This is how we have been conditioned. This is what 50 below does to us after awhile.

Hello idiot ankle biter of mine! Stop urinating in your kennel and on my rug and get your teeny tiny butt outside to do your disgusting business. Especially now that it's not below zero. And by the way, stop barking every time a car goes by. And would you PLEASE just come to me when I call you? What I had hoped for, in you, was a dog that would play fetch and love to come jump on my lap. What you've given me is a dog who freaks out on my husband; barking like it's major stranger danger with a big bloody knife each and every time he comes home. Yeah, he has no knife, he feeds you daily, he's actually good to you. AND HE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BEGIN WITH! It was I who announced we would be getting you. It was he who protested until I told him he was NOT the pet nazi and I WANTED TO GET MYSELF A SWEETIE WEETIE LAP DOGGIE!

I'm soooo thrilled to hear that your breed generally lives around 13 years. I look forward to 11 more years of pee pee, poo poo, ear butchering barking, chasing you down if I want to put you outside or pet you, army crawling under beds to retrieve you from the darkest, farthest back corner when you cower and hide because surely we are about to eat you! If it weren't for three children who love you deeply, I'm sorta thinking that you would be adopted into another family. Just sorta. Don't tell the kids I said that, ok?

2009-01-15T16:22:00.000-08:00

I have written two novels and am halfway through my third. My first novel was very rough and while it is done, it will have to be majorly edited and I've put it away for now. I once heard that a first novel should never see the light of day. However! I absolutely love it and with some polishing it could be a great mainstream book.

My second novel is contemporary romance and I have JUST submitted it to Firebrand Literary. Now I pray that they like it while I continue to work my way through my third book, which is more contemporary women's fiction. I'm having a blast writing this one!

I can't wait to finish it, though, because novel number four is really wanting to be written!!!!!!!! It will be another contemporary women's fiction and super duper fun!

Temperatures in my fine state today have been hitting a numbing 50 below!

2009-01-12T19:21:00.000-08:00

So, my twelve year old daughter wants to wear a thong. Ummm, NO. Not as long as I'm buying your underwear and/or you're living in my house. Whichever comes later. Come to think about it, not until you're married. In fact, never. You can never wear a thong because you are my precious little girl and shouldn't even be thinking of thongs.

So, my ten year old daughter really should start wearing a bra. Not a big old bra with cups and all....just something to sorta smooth her out and protect her. However, the thought of this makes her cry, for real. It's horrifying to her and she hates it with all her might. Ummm, HONEY. It's not really an option, you WILL get used to them, and they AREN'T as bad as you're thinking they are.

I've got one daughter wanting a thong, one daughter not wanting a bra...one really wants to grow up and do whatever she wants, and one has told me she wishes she didn't have to. These girls are only 2 years apart! I think I'd like to make them both 11 instead. Put 'em right there in the middle where they're okay with the bra, but a thong isn't even on their radar yet! Is that possible?

2009-01-11T21:04:00.000-08:00

Why do you suppose it is that you cannot find a single sled to buy in Minnesota in January? Well, I take that back - I did find ONE sled, which was ridiculously priced. Normally you can find all types of them for cheap. But you'd better get them before winter comes!!! With around 3 months left of sledding weather, good luck finding a sled! Tonight we went sledding down a very large hill. Fortunately, Wal-Mart still had snow boards, so those functioned as both sleds and snow boards. Merci, Wal-Mart...merci. We had to hit three stores before we went to Wal-Mart. Should've just gone there first, I reckon!

2009-01-10T13:45:00.000-08:00

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1554121497/

This movie trailer made me laugh out loud! They do exaggerate the accent, and we don't all look and dress like that, but it's hilarious. I can't wait to see the movie!

I know this is long, but it's very funny!

Diary of a Snow Shoveler

December 8: 6:00 PM.
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled snow for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of snow last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Doggone snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the idiot is lying.
December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What?...is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his nose. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that goldarn snowplow.
December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26:
Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28:
Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE WIFE is driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed? ~Author Unknown

I finished The Book Of Ruth and wasn't quite expecting what happened toward the end...I was a little shocked! I knew something was coming, but WOW! Now I'm looking for my next novel to devour. I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life as well, and loving that.

Last night I wrote the rough draft to 3 children's stories that have been banging around in my mind for quite some time. I'm pretty excited about them!

2009-01-08T08:52:00.000-08:00

It is extremely cold!!! So cold that you get a nice surprise when you go to the bank drive-thru and can't roll your window down because it's frozen! So cold that the door leading outside in the garage is covered in frost and you risk losing some skin to open it! So cold that I haven't wanted to go grocery shopping in a month, so I stop for just a few things here and there and I'm losing weight due to lack of crappola! (that's actually a good thing!) It's so cold that I'm sitting here typing wearing: long underwear both on top and bottom, jeans, turtleneck sweater, wool socks, slippers, and a North Face Outerwear vest. I'm still shivering! We are having some furnace issues right now, so it kicks on here and there...when i just want it to continually blow HEAT on me. So such is winter wonderland in Minnesota.

A new story idea popped into my head this morning as I was driving. I had intended to listen to a sermon on the radio, and all I could think about was the new story idea. This is a common thing lately; driving in the morning when the ideas come. I'm cool with that! It's better than when I'm lying in bed cuz then I have to get up to write it down in fear of losing it in my sleep! I've got ideas popping out of my brain and that's a GREAT thing because I definitely don't struggle with writer's block.

My son is in the mood to ride his bike. He's been asking! Uhmmmm, well....you certainly CAN, my dear! In about 4 months! My daughter wants to start playing hockey and has been asking and kinda freaking out when I say not now. Uhmmmm, well....your dance lessons are already so expensive we can't afford hockey, NOR do we have even a fraction of time to do it! My other daughter wants to go on a trip next year with her dance group, and it's ONLY $1500!!! Uhmmm, well....better start fundraising, BABY! For YOU and for ME, cuz you certainly aren't going to Florida without me at age 13!!! Ahhhh, kids.

2009-01-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

Lots of business meetings today! Been at it since early this morning, then had work, then had another late meeting that wrapped up around eight o'clock...got home and tucked all three darlings into bed....and am now going to finally do some writing. A full, productive day!

Today - I know this much is true;

Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota :
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,

You might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,

You might live in Minnesota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",

You might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,

You might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,

You might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,

You might live in Minnesota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

You might live in Minnesota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to say...Wayzata... Mahtomedi... Cloquet... Edina...and... Shakopee,

You might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,

You might live in Minnesota.

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,

You might live in Minnesota.

You measure distance in hours,

You might live in Minnesota.

You know several people, who have hit deer more than once,

You might live in Minnesota.

You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,

You might live in Minnesota.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,

You might live in Minnesota.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Minnesota.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,

You might live in Minnesota.

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison,

You might live in Minnesota.

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,

You might live in Minnesota.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,

You might live in Minnesota.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,

You might live in Minnesota.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,

You might live in Minnesota.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction,

You might live in Minnesota.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent,

You might live in Minnesota.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,

You might live in Minnesota.

If "Down South" to you means Iowa,

You might live in Minnesota.

You know "a brat" is something you eat,

You might live in Minnesota.

You find -10 degrees "a little chilly",

You might live in Minnesota.

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends,

You DO live in Minnesota. Or remember so very well. With maybe a tear in the eye?

2009-01-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

I've been doing research tonight - trying to find a home for a short romance story that actually pays, doesn't charge a reading fee, and won't take a year to get back to me. Wish me luck! I've found some places to submit to.

Last week on christmas vacation while I was working the kids decided to write their own charades game. I had to get some of these down before throwing them away:

"Flushing the toilet"
"Be Chinese" (I'll have to talk to them about this one...)
"Be a car"
"Be a candle"
"Slapping your bare butt" (Again with the talk...)
"Freak"
"Set dowen" (Written by a first grader)
"Be bad" (First grader again)
"?" (First grader)
"Slapping an old lady" (WHAT???)
"Be Mom!" (I so wish I could've seen this one! Or do I?)
"Crapping in the toilet" (Ugggggggggggh)
"Be a hillbilly"
"dam" (Hmmm, this is first grader handwriting. Is it the type of dam at a park?)
"Acting like an angle" (I'm thinking they meant angel, but angle would be cool too...)
"Be a poopy turd" (What sort of kids am I raising? There's even an illustration on this one!)
"SS" (Hmmm, dunno. snake?)
"Poop" (Yep. First grader)
"Rob" (Because why? Hopefully not practice for our future!)
"Cry" (Easy)
"Drinking coffee" (which is probably the same as "Be Mom") (I hope)
"Plunging the toilet" (cuz we love us the potty humor)
"Cool" (Again, probably the same as "Be Mom")
And my favorite;
"portgiy portvilin" (First grader. I have no idea.)

2009-01-04T19:46:00.001-08:00

Q: Why did Tigger look into the toilet?

A: Because he was looking for Pooh!

What a great day. We went to a waterpark and used up every ounce of our energy. Now everyone's asleep and I'm headed there soon. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I joined Facebook today. Catch the wave! I've been bugged to join for quite awhile and kept putting it off, but I think I'm going to like it! I've already connected with old friends.

Tomorrow I will complete a short romance story for submission. It's halfway done but I'm not creative tonight! I got the first half done last night. So - it will be my first submission of 2009. Let's get 'er done!

2009-01-03T19:04:00.000-08:00

Last night was a blast, just as I knew it would be! Today I had the pleasure of going to see my Grandma and all of my aunts and uncles on my mom's side. The weather traveling there was awful. It normally takes an hour and I'd say we took about an hour and a half or so. Freezing rain, which turned to ice as it hit your windshield and the road, then lots of snow on top of that. We made it safely, as did everyone else. We enjoyed a good old Minnesota potluck! Ham, potatoes and gravy, 7 layer salad, hot dish, fruit salad....it goes on and on. Absolutely delicious, every dish! My mom and uncle were reminiscing, telling all sorts of old stories about growing up on the farm and many crazy things they did! My grandma hollered out "You RASCALS!" a couple times, learning NOW, at the age of 80, some of the things that they had done. Some great examples; my aunt and uncle once caught a bunch of bees and let them loose in the house. My aunt once caught a bee, removed the stinger and stuck it under my uncles shirt as he was sleeping, so when he woke up he thought he was going to get stung. My uncle ALMOST convinced his cousin that he could fly from the second floor of the barn. My dad pulled my uncle and his cousin behind his car....holding onto the bumper of the car, and also on a toboggan! There were many more fun stories.

Whenever I chew super strong gum, like Eclipse, for example, it makes me sneeze as soon as I start chewing it. I found out today that my Grandpa was the same way! So cool to learn that I share that strange characteristic with my SUPER AWESOME Grandpa, who passed away several years ago. He was so wonderful.

Tonight we read There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly along with other books at bedtime. It's been a long time since we pulled this one out and my kids were laughing so hard, though Hals kept saying, "Oh my GOSH! That's so morbid!" We all chorused "Perhaps she'll die!" Something folks don't usually say???

2009-01-02T17:16:00.000-08:00

Today I had to work at my DAY JOB all day and was backed up due to holidays...so no writing business today. Tonight involves a belated New Year's celebration with a bunch of great friends, so I'm looking forward to it. My eyeballs didn't exactly bleed last night but I did get a lot of reading done. I recommend the book - it's a good read. I'm ready for Christmas Vacation to be over so the kids can get back to school, homework, friends, a schedule, and dance. It's time - they're going bonkers!

My heart goes out to John Travolta and Kelly Presley tonight, as do my prayers.

2009-01-01T19:34:00.000-08:00

Had a blast last night with my sister and her kiddos, my family and my brother in-law. Very nice night. We played charades, then the game where you go around the circle listing off things in a category until you run out, (what's that called?) and told each other our most embarrassing moments. We watched the ball drop and hugged, and we ate way toooooo much. Yuck. I did the same thing with myself today as far as food goes. Today was relaxing and lazy. We watched The Dark Night with the late Heath Ledger, and hung out. I managed to get some writing tasks done; new e-mail addy strictly for writing and a new ezine account. I'm excited about the new year in front of us. I believe it is going to be a GREAT one!!!

I'm reading The Book Of Ruth by Jane Hamilton and having trouble putting it down. I do recommend it! I'm a fan of Jane's. I think I'm at a point where something bad is going to go down for the main character...and I sure do like that gal! Gonna go slip under the covers and READ till my eyeballs bleed!

Goodbye to 2008

2008-12-31T14:10:00.000-08:00

Where did 2008 go? I feel like I spent the past year in a time warp. I feel like it just vanished! So let's see...what happened?

January - awoke on the first day of 2008 at a friend's house after a New Year's Eve bash. Had coffee and breakfast, laughed like crazy, then went and got the kids to celebrate with them. Fabulous. Also gave a business presentation to close to 70 people, went to a surprise 30th birthday party for a friend, had a snow day school cancellation, and another birthday party. A good month.
February - Went to the MN State Dance Team Competition, my dad's birthday party, had to skip the trip to Mexico with my 2 girlfriend's and their husbands due to lack of jing, took the kids to the waterpark, Brought my girls to 2 of their own dance competition where they BOTH placed 1st in their divisions. A good month.
March - Dance pictures, Father-in-law's birthday, niece's bridal shower, a wonderful Easter celebration, another niece's birthday, and a GIRL'S WEEKEND (so fun!) A good month.
April - School carnival, Saw Horton Hears A Who with my friends and all of our kids, school choir concert for my girl Hans, another dance competition where they both took first place again, another snow day, got a new hairdoo, my niece got married, my daughter Hals had a choir concert, and we had a dance show. A good month.
May - Hals attended some communion classes, another niece's bridal shower, my step-mom's birthday, my son had a kindergarten program, went to the waterpark with the kids again, got a new computer as the old one began to go bye-bye, the kids sang at church, went and saw my grandma an hour away, Hans graduated the 4th grade, my niece turned 4, I went on a field trip to the Science Museum in Minneapolis with Hans's class and to the Dairy Queen with my son's class and then got to spend the entire last day of kindergarten with him, then we wrapped the month up at a friend's cabin sitting by the lake, fishing, boating...ahhhh, a good month.
June - softball started, my sister, husband and Hans had birthdays, (Hans turned 10!) went to the waterpark again, had my 14 YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! A great month!
July - Celebrated our independance at a friend's bash with the family and watched a great fireworks show, Hals turned 12, went camping, my nephew turned 12, saw my grandma again, went tubing on the lake, Hals went to bible camp , and both girls went to dance day camp, had a big family picnic with my mom's side of the fam, a day on the lake with my girlfriends, and a 50th anniversary party for my husband's aunt & uncle. Another great month!
August - A big fish fry at a friends with lots of fun and kids, a belated family birthday party for Hals & cousin, kids went to an Indian Museum with grandma, went to the legendary Paul Bunyanland, went school shopping, kids sang in church again, Hals went to an intensive dance camp, vacation bible school, my grandfather would have been 101 if he was still living, my son turned 7, we went to the beach a LOT, my in-laws had their 45th wedding anniversary, I became the secretary/treasurer of a business group, became a confirmation guide, and my daughter took gun safety classes. Again, a great month!
September - School started up again, my son had a big belated birthday bash at the waterpark, I began to lead a bible study group at church, wrote a devotion entry for a church compliation, and attended a business education forum. A good month.
October - Attended a friend's wedding at a resort and shared a room with 2 other couples, had a great night seeing tons of old friends, dancing and laughing! The girls were in a homecoming parade, my mom turned 59, my daughter went to Valleyfair, we went to a great kid's birthday party, had an awesome girlfriend's night, my friend turned 23, my daughter had a High School Musical 3 sleepover and I overloaded my minivan to get them all to the movie, my mother-in-law turned 61, we all got flu shots, I represented adult education at a church missions festival, worked at the church Halloween party with my nerd, skeleton and vampire diva, and turned 35. (REALLY?) A great month.
November - Voted, went to Biz Town for my 5th grader's field trip and worked the DJ booth, was a mystery reader in my son's class, Hals went hunting for the first time in her life, hosted a Tastefully Simple and Arbonne Party, had my first professional massage ever, bought flowers for a client who's husband passed away, sent out 7 sympathy cards due to 7 deaths, brought my husband to Duluth to see if his symptoms were due to Lymes Disease and he began treatment for it, daughter went to a middle school church gathering, moved my daughter's rooms to the basement, closed on a new loan for my husban'ds rental, celebrated Thanksgiving and attended a funeral for my daughter's good friend's mom the next day. A bittersweet month.
December - Did a colon cleanse, served coffee, lemonade and cookies at church after my kids participated in the Christmas program, stretched, kicked and danced with my girls, sent husband to a business seminar alone, took christmas card picture over and over as my son refused to cooperate, went Christmas shopping and had multiple christmas celebrations. A great month.
Regularly - shuttled kids to school, dance, church, softball, baseball, wrestling, friend's houses...worked...wrote, and all the regular stuff.

2008 was filled with family, friends, love and fun. There was sadness and great joy. Tomorrow 2009 begins. A brand new year to fill and celebrate.

The Beginning

2008-03-13T10:43:00.001-07:00

In the beginning there was a blank page and a blog to create.

Today is the day that I hope to finish the final edit of my novel before printing it up and giving a couple of copies away to my readers. As soon as the copies are in their hot little hands, I shall begin my query and synopsis....then I shall begin the submission process! Let's HOPE things go well.

My plan is, once I've begun the submission process...to begin my next work, which is already outlined and already begun. It's banging around in my head waiting to get out!!!

I need an agent, and I need more hours in the day to work on my writing, editing, day-job, mothering, housekeeping and cooking.

Wish me well, and please follow along as things unwind!